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Picture of Topic  'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions


Topic 'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Share how you are feeling and swap tips for managing stress with other members and the online team

  • 186 conversations

Newbie and very afraid

Started by Anonymous on 04 January 2016 at 03:04

Hi i am new here and was diagnosed with grade 1 (they think but that could easily change i suppose) endometrial cancer. I've been pencilled in for a hysterectomy on the 19th of jan and am absolutely terrified of finding that the cancer has spread. I am getting all sorts of symptoms now but don't know if these are simply caused by the shock and dread that i feel or if they are cancer symptoms. The waiting is awful and i keep thinking three weeks gives the cancer even more time to spread. Docs are hoping that they have got it early but i think its been going on for well over a year. Can't stop crying but try to hide my fear from people, especially my loved ones. I feel as if i am surrounded by a black cloud. Sorry for depressing everyone.

Comments (3)

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  • From Anonymous
    19 January 2016 at 19:46

    Hello, I am very new to all this as have only been diagnosed with an invasive breast cancer on the 20th December and am still waiting to have all my biopsy results and an op on Monday to remove the lump. You are certainly not alone in your thoughts. I too feel every little pain and think that it must have spread, feeling like you, completely desperate at times. One thing I have found to help is to have a journal, something that I have never had before. When I have a horrible thought in my head or have those feelings of shear desperation I sit quietly and write my thoughts in the journal. I find it's a way of expressing what I am feeling and getting rid of that thought! No one will ever seen the journal - it's just for me. It's incredible that even after this short time I don't feel I need to write in it as much. I'm not sure if you like crafty things but I have also taught myself yo crochet, all be it not very well but I find that a real distraction as all your thinking is on not loosing the stitch and it allows a small window when the dreaded C word is not taking over your every thought! Feel comforted that you are not alone in this process and from what I have seen/discussed with Maggies so far they are a brilliant resource so we are lucky to have them. I hope your surgery goes well or indeed if it was today that it went well. Yptake care, Sarah x

  • From Anonymous
    15 January 2016 at 23:37

    Dear Emma, I understand how you're feeling, the range of emotions, the crying, it's all normal. Your fears are too but you must try and stand strong now. Grade 1 is the lowest so you have caught it early. Think positive hun. It's going to be a battle but you can come through this, many have, why not you? You're going to need real family and friends around you to support you, lots of nutritional food and rest. I will be thinking of you on the 19th, I'm so sorry you have to go through surgery but you can do it. I did. Try not to worry about it spreading, one thing at a time. Surgery first then recovery. Everyone who read your post is supporting you, we've all been there, frightened and worried. God bless, Linda

  • Picture of SusieQ
    From SusieQ  
    05 January 2016 at 11:32
    Edited on: 05 January 2016 at 14:08


    The weeks waiting for your surgery may seem to be endless - and you're not alone in the worry that cancer, once diagnosed, may start spreading whilst you wait.

    With the vast majority of cancers, the weeks between diagnosis and treatment doesn't mean that the cancer will suddenly take off, and grow/spread - it simply means it's been detected. It's sounding as though your cancer is a slow growing type (grade 1), and so the timing of your surgery is satisfactory, in cancer terms. You've maybe read a great deal about endometrial cancer, so may have seen that grade 1 is the easiest to treat, and people generally respond very well.

    It doesn't feel like that, though, as people will tell you - our imagination can run riot, and it's natural to be more aware of aches and pains in our bodies at this time. The uncertainty is part of the angst of waiting - as until you get the final results from the surgery, you'll still feel in limbo.

    If you can, do talk to those around you about how you feel - your loved ones may also be feeling a bit scared - the 'cancer' word tends to do that. If you live in an area where we have a Maggie's Centre, you're welcome to visit - it can help to relieve the fear, and meet other people who understand the 'black cloud'. You can also ask questions, find out about the things you can do to fill the days before the operation, and develop some coping strategies for the period up to, and after the operation.

    I hope you'll also message Robyn and/or myself for some moral support - sharing the worries can reduce them a great deal...

    Warm wishes


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