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Topic Friends and family

For anyone supporting someone else with cancer

  • 156 conversations

Terrified for my mum!

Started by Anonymous on 29 September 2016 at 16:10

I found out a few days ago my mum has stage 3 breast cancer. I am a wreck and terrified of what's going to happen. As s health care professional myself I have been reading etc. I have just come across the prognosis/ survival rates for her stage and am absolutely terrified!!

Comments (4)

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Displaying 4 comments

  • From Anonymous
    11 October 2016 at 09:14

    Hi Sarah,


    I think it is worse when you are a health care professional as we tend to know all of the medical terminology.

    As the other ladies say treatment has come on leaps and bounds now.

    It is bound to be a difficult and scary time for you all. If I had took notice of what I read on the internet almost 8 years ago I wouldn't be here.

    Maggie's on line were a massive support to me. You have people on here Sarah that will support you so much. If you need to scream Maggie's on line is the place to do it.


    Best Wishes and huge hugs


    Beverley x

  • From Anonymous
    10 October 2016 at 19:34

    Hope you're ok Sarah x

  • Picture of SusieQ
    From SusieQ  
    30 September 2016 at 11:03
    Edited on: 30 September 2016 at 11:04


    You're possibly still in shock from hearing the news of your mum's recent breast cancer diagnosis. Being a health care professional doesnt protect us from the natural panic response when someone you love has a life changing illness. You're only human - and she's your mum.

    The main thing is to be well informed, and then things can begin to feel more in control. Stage 3 breast cancer is well defined in Cancer Research Uk's section on 'number stages of breast cancer'. She may be stage 3A, 3B or 3C. I imagine she will be having treatment for her breast cancer, which is likely to involve surgery, chemotherapy, and radiotherapy (plus or minus hormone therapy, depending on whether her tumour is oestrogen positive or not). There are additional treatments she may have too.

    Stage 3 breast cancer isnt curable, but it people can live with it for several years or all depends on her general health, and her unique response to treatment, etc.

    The focus for now will be on treating the cancer, and perhaps that may need to be your main focus for now. Your mum may be feeling very shaken too, so is likely to value your support. It's ok to admit to her that it's been a shock...and you both may find you have some serious conversations along the way.

    Statistics that you read online are helpful, but only very general - so sometimes at this point, it's as well to focus on the 'here and now'. (Easy for me to say, but can be hard to do, which is understandable).

    If you live near one of Maggie's Centres - you're welcome to drop in and talk through how you're feeling, and find out more about breast cancer treatments, etc - and how you can support your mum by thinking of good nutrition, exercise, managing stress, learning ways to relax, and control the controllable.

    We have a section in Maggie's Cancerlinks on Breast cancer which has useful links to reputable and up to date websites, so you can find out more information when you're ready.

    I'll also get in touch by personal message so you can ask any questions and talk through how this news has left you feeling...

    Warm wishes



  • From Anonymous
    29 September 2016 at 20:24

    Hi Sarahonline1, firstly try not to read too much stuff on line, unless it's from one of the reliable sites, like this one, breastcancercare and Macmillan are also good. Treatment has come a long way, and although the journey your mum is about to embark on, isn't fun. It's very much doable. I think I would ignore any survival rates, at the end of the day we are all individuals. I have a neighbour who was diagnosed 20years ago, stage 3 like your mum. She had a mastectomy and hormone treatment and is now happily living her life to the full. I am 3 years into this journey, it's been full of ups and downs but I am still here and doing okay. Breast Cancer is very much treatable so try and take things a day at a time. Give yourself time to process what's happening. But please don't assume the worse. Wishing you and your mum all the best for your journey ahead xx

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