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Picture of Topic Friends and family


Topic Friends and family

For anyone supporting someone else with cancer

  • 156 conversations

Sad and scared

Started by Anonymous on 03 May 2012 at 13:56

My dad has cancer, it started in his prostate but by the time it was discovered it was too late to treat as it had already spread quite significantly. He has had radiotherapy for pain management but managing his pain is all they can do for him. Sitting here in tears as I type this but that's OK because there is no-one here to see. I have to be strong for my mum and sister and my own children but I really want to stick my head in the sand and make it all go away. My dad is only 66 and doesn't deserve to suffer like this. I am sad because I don't want to lose him and I'm scared of how our family will be after he dies. It's horrible to watch his suffering but trying to stay upbeat. Other family members have died of cancer and it obviously affected me but I am finding this very difficult to cope with as I ask my dad's opinion about almost every situation I come across in life! I just want to be a little girl again. Can anyone who is losing/has lost their dad give me any tips on coping please?

Comments (12)

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Displaying 1-10 of 12 comments

  • From Anonymous
    25 May 2017 at 12:15

    hi Pam. im new here but i do so feel for you. it wasnt my dad but my husband for me. I know how you must feel about wanting to stick your head in the sand as my late husband had prostate cancer which unfortunally after a very long battle spread to his bladder and then into his lymphnodes in stomach. i also felt i had to be strong for our daughter who was under a year and half old as well as my grown up stepsons. coping i woud definetly say crying is good (I did alot in private myself). for me its now five years has past and only just found this site. my heart is going out to you. thinking of you and your family. Anna x

  • From Anonymous
    08 May 2012 at 13:35

    Hi Mistylass,

    I wish you all the very best for wednesday with your brother's results. I think the not knowing is worse than the knowing at times. I wish you all the very best.

    Best Wishes.


  • From Anonymous
    07 May 2012 at 15:11

    hi mistylass

    Hope typing it has helped, it helped me a little. I know what you mean about sleeping being the only time you get some relief. Although my sleeping pattern is all wrong at the moment due to all the stress, I am sure you are the same. If you need to offload you know where to come, sharing does help.

    Wishing you all the best for your brother, thinking of you and your family.

    Pam x

  • From Anonymous
    07 May 2012 at 10:23

    My heart really goes out to you all.  It has been about three weeks since we were told that my lovely brother may well have mesothelioma. He is 60 next week and the best brother, father, husband there has ever been. I look in his eyes and can see the fear as I can in all of his family. It is like I wont be able to breathe normally until we get the results which should be this wednesday. I just want to be able to wave a wand and make everything o.k. He has never smoked and I cant help feeling that this is so unfair. I know everyone must feel this way, but it is tragic. The only time my mind is at rest is when I am asleep.

    I suppose I just wanted to off-load some of the grief.

  • From Anonymous
    07 May 2012 at 09:23

    Hi Pam,

    Take care and know we are all thinking of you and your family x

  • From Anonymous
    06 May 2012 at 21:59


    I am off work anyway as I have had 3 ops myself in the past 6 months! Our family are certainly going through it!


    So sorry to hear about your husband, thanks for your reply.


    We nearly lost dad this weekend as he had an infection but he has pulled through and everything now hinges on whether he can cope with the pain caused by dialysis washing out his pain relief. We will have to see what tomorrow brings...

    Pam x


  • Picture of lorraine
    04 May 2012 at 21:36

    Hi pam

    I have just been reading what your going through, i have not got any answer's for you as my husband has advanced prostate cancer and we just seem to go from one day to another if he is feeling okay then i am okay ect ect ect..

    you are in my thought's at this terrible time


  • From Anonymous
    04 May 2012 at 15:46

    Hi Pam,

    Please give your Gp a call and maybe if you work get some time off now and spend time with your family. Crying will do you no harm as it's best not to keep it bottled in. Take care.

    Beverley x

  • From Anonymous
    04 May 2012 at 14:51

    Hi Beverley

    He has been getting care from the district nurses anyway so it shouldn't be a problem for them to keep coming in once he is home. I have met them, they are all lovely.

    I have stopped crying for the moment but think I am in shock, I can sense a call to my doctor coming on...

    Take care yourself and thanks for your time.

    Pam x

  • From Anonymous
    04 May 2012 at 14:20

    Dear Pam,

    I am so sorry to hear your news today and I can't begin to imagine what you are all going through. Has your Dad got a District Nurse involved if he is coming home?

    I will be thinking of you and your family over the coming days.

    Take care and my thoughts are with you all.

    Beverley x

Displaying 1-10 of 12 comments


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