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As well as sharing experiences with our friendly online community, registered members are able to contact our experienced online team. The Centre is staffed during office hours and the online team aim to reply within 24 hours.

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Picture of Topic  'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions


Topic 'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Share how you are feeling and swap tips for managing stress with other members and the online team

  • 186 conversations

Feeling so alone & unsure

Started by Anonymous on 10 February 2016 at 12:52

My Soulmate Alison was cruelly taken from me & my 2 sons on the 20th January 2016 She was first diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer back last February & had a full Hysterectomy in Apri, getting the all clear in June. We were estacic at that news & booked a big family holiday for September. End of August whilst getting dried after a shower she had a feeling in her right arm (Like a electric shock) & found a pea size lump under her arm. Consulted GP who were fabulous & got her seen immediately by specialist had al the scans & they found she had aggressive Cancer in her Lymph Nodes in her underarm & her right breast had Cancer nodes. They were going to remove both but suggested Chemotherapy first as both lumps were growing fast & needed to stop the growths. The Breast & Lymph nodes were going to be removed & we were more than happy as life was still going to be good. Unfortunately she had to have a Pett Scan in Cardiff & that revealed another 2 tumours growing in her chests. Then we had the most devastating news that now all the Tumours were inoperable & she would be kept comfortable by regular Chemotherapy treatments. She managed to have 2 but both sessions ended up with her having problems (Just one of those things) & in December started getting breathing difficulties. They told us she no pneumonia but was treatable. She came home on January 4th with 24 hour breathing apparatus & was told it would take approx 3 months with the aid of drugs to clear up the pneumonia. January 18th she took a turn for the worse & had to be re-admitted back into hospital as the pneumonia had got worse. She seem to buck up & I left her happy in the Hospital on the night of the 19th & looking forward to walking again by weekend & coming home the following week. I had the worse phone call in the early hours of the 20th to tell me she slept till 04.30 then needed the Toilet, they helped her to the Toilet & on her return got really breathless & needed to lye back down which she did. The Sister assured me that she closed her eyes & just like sleeping died painlessly. I miss her terribly & wonder how life can be so cruel. She never done anybody any harm & was the best Mother to our boys & the Best Wife anybody could have. Missing her dearly

Comments (1)

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  • Picture of SusieQ
    From SusieQ  
    10 February 2016 at 13:18
    Edited on: 10 February 2016 at 15:10


    Thank you for explaining the moving events both leading up to, and since your soul mate, Alison, died.

    There are few words of comfort that can be offered at this very early stage of you and your family's grief. This is a time for simply getting through, day by day, hour by hour. It sounds as though Alison's death was so sudden and unexpected, that you may have been left with things you might have said...or that you wish you'd been there with her...

    What Alison will have known is that she was deeply loved and cherished, and it sounds like she would have had no prior knowledge of her swift passing...a peaceful end, with no pain.

    I know other bereaved online members will understand what you're going through just now...for although every bereavement is a unique experience - the heartache and loneliness felt at this time is almost universal.

    I'm hoping you have people around you for support and encouragement. Do message Robyn or myself if you'd like to talk through anything...

    Warm wishes


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