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Picture of Topic Living with loss


Topic Living with loss

For anyone who has lost someone due to cancer

  • 146 conversations

I think it’s time to get help

Started by Anonymous on 29 January 2018 at 12:20

Yesterday it was four months for my mum passing. You’d think it’d get a little easier but more things keep coming my way once I’ve gained some sense of stability. It’s hard living with the thoughts that constantly replay in my head, watching her grow weaker in her last days. My mum was first diagnosed when I was 10. As I am an only child and my mum a single parent I had to grow up fast and help look after my mum. I was her carer and did best I could to balance school and trying to make sure she was okay during her 7 year battle with cancer. I guess I just feel so alone now, she was the only person in my life that truly knew me and supported me in every way. She said to be ‘you’ll be okay’, and I guess I’m not. All my hopes and dreams feel so out of reach and more things are getting piled on me. My grandad suddenly passed a month after my mum. And this Saturday my dads new wife who I’ve never met is coming to live in the country. I’m going to feel even more pushed away from my dad once she comes. It’s too soon and just reminds me of the fact there’s going to be even more change and I’ll probably be living alone soon. I think I need professional help to talk to someone. I just have such a big ego and just don’t want to feel like I’m weak for having to get help. I know it shouldn’t be thought of like that but it’s just how I feel. Thanks if anyone read this.

Comments (2)

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Displaying 2 comments

  • From Anonymous
    25 February 2018 at 07:18

    Well done Slush puppy for reaching out. I'm sure you're taking a step in the right direction in asking for help.

  • Picture of Robyn
    From Robyn  
    29 January 2018 at 14:32

    Hello, four months on from the loss of your mother it is still early days.  Asking for help isnt a sign of weakness - indeed when you are used to helping others as you have been looking after your mother it can be very hard to ask for help. 

    It is understandable and also normal that you are struggling- I can imagine you are both physically and emotionally exhausted.  It will probably feel strange after so long  being a carer but now is the time to focus on you. 

    If you are near any of our Centres you are welcome to  drop in - you dont need an appointment.  You are also welcome to message me privately and we can talk in more detail.  ( i had just sent you a private message before I saw this post  so you will see one in your inbox) 

    Best wishes


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