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Picture of Topic Friends and family

Topic

Topic Friends and family

For anyone supporting someone else with cancer

  • 156 conversations

The beginning of the end

Started by Anonymous on 29 October 2017 at 20:43

We’ve been battling a while and had a mix of good news and not so good (always liveable to a degree though). My dad has been in hospital for a couple of weeks and has taken THE infection....we’ve also been told that his cancer is eating his bones quickly so all in all - he is only expected to last a couple of weeks.... I’m 23 weeks pregnant and absolutely devastated. I knew our time was limited but I thought we had a few months.... not a matter of weeks or days.... I suppose I’m trying to come to terms with the news, but trying to stay calm for the babies sake and also stay brace for my dad and toddler.... I don’t know how I feel or what to say or what to do I just feel like the life has been taken from me. Any advice?

Comments (1)

Displaying 1 comments

  • Picture of SusieQ
    From SusieQ  
    30 October 2017 at 10:32

    Hello,

    What a difficult time for you and the family...

    It's one of the most 'grown up' things we ever have to face in life - the last weeks and days of a loved one's illness. The contrast, of new life (your pregancy) and the fading of your Dad's, sounds understandably distressing.

    At this emotionally poignant time, it's more about simply getting through the next few days/weeks. Saying the things you'd like your dad to know - being there for each other as a family - and looking after yourselves physically. Practical issues like visiting your dad, supporting others, and allowing yourself to be supported too.

    Take each day at a time, and perhaps work out between yourselves as a family, when you'll be visiting your dad, and regular breaks, so that you're all as rested as you can be too. It's Ok to feel sad and to acknowledge it.

    There's no easy way through the next stage. It's about your dad feeling at peace, any family difficulties settled, and that you as a family act as his advocates in his last days, seeing he's as comfortable as is possible (in discussion with the medical teams).

    Accept any help friends and neighbours offer, as you'll have practical things to sort out to, mid the emotional turmoil. You need to look after you in all this too...

    You're welcome to message me or Robyn, if you'd like to talk through anything...

    Warm wishes

    Sue


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