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As well as sharing experiences with our friendly online community, registered members are able to contact our experienced online team. The Centre is staffed during office hours and the online team aim to reply within 24 hours.

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Picture of Topic  'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions


Topic 'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Share how you are feeling and swap tips for managing stress with other members and the online team

  • 186 conversations

Hi I'm new to Maggies

Started by Anonymous on 03 April 2017 at 22:59

As my header says, I'm new to Maggies and Robyn has enlightened me to the fact that my profile remains hidden until I get involved in a conversation or blog, so here I am.

Having kept myself fit all my life I was told two years ago before my 51st birthday that i had cancer of the Gallbladder. I think the Doctors and Nurses were surprised as my only symtoms had been chest pains, other than that I felt fine, fit and healthy. It soon became apparent to me by the looks on their faces that I was in big trouble. 

I had major robotic surgery but was soon back on my fitness regime and back at work. A week ago, I was told it was back, incurable and i would need chemo' to prolong my life. This has come as a total shock to me as I feel perfectly fine and well and my body is in great condition. Couple that with me finally meeting a lovely Lady after years of drama with ex's, it could not have come at a worse time. I feel cheated, overwhemed, almost victimised asking why me ( but hey, why anyone for that matter ). My chemo starts on the !!th April which is a week away. I would love to take a homeopathic route, but I dare not. The thought of Chemo' destroying my body I just simply cannot put into words. The thought of me not surviving this thing inside me leaves me lost for words, which is rare. My emotions are nondescript, I don't know where I am, one minute ready to fight it, next minute picturing people at my funeral.

Guess I'm here hoping someone can help me make some kind of sense of it all. I feel completely overwhelmed and in a trance like state. Any advice or thoughts are more than welcome.

John :)

Comments (3)

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Displaying 3 comments

  • Picture of SusieQ
    From SusieQ  
    04 April 2017 at 16:34
    Edited on: 04 April 2017 at 16:41

    Hello John,

    The thought of having chemotherapy is often hard to contemplate. It does feel strange to be having a treatment that will for a time, make you feel less well - but the aim will be to calm down the cancer activity.

    Running alongside the conventional treatments, you can be taking control over other aspects, good nutrition, strategies to relax and de-stress, setting a goal for things you want to do when the treatment is completed, etc. That you're in a good place, physically now, sets you in good stead to help cope with the chemo effects.

    It sounds as though you could do with a further talk through the options? Sometimes in that initial consultation - the shock of the news means that absorbing information, including clarification of certain points, pass by. It's often once home, that all the other questions come tumbling in.

    I'm wondering if you were given the details of a specialist cancer nurse at your hospital, to contact if you had any questions - she/he could guide you through, and perhaps even see if you could have another appointment in order to ask those questions missed? (This may already be in hand).

    I'll message you, John, and we can talk some more, 'behind the scenes' as it were...

    Warm wishes



  • From Anonymous
    04 April 2017 at 14:37

    Hi Sue,

    thank you very much for your response, it's much appreciated. My fear is that I am showing no symptoms of being ill. I feel fine, everypne tells me I look well but I'm about to embark on something that is going to destroy my immune system at a time when I need it to be at it's strongest. Also, what I read about Chemotherapy as a treatmentn in itself sounds as though it will do more damage to me than the cancer and possibly make it come back in an even more aggressive state. I just don't know what to think as some people are urging me not to have it, others urging me to have it. " It;s your decision " I keep getting but I don't know. I don't want it but I see it as the only real chance of survival. I would love to do it holistically and just boost the immune system to fight it, however, if that dioesn't work, I fear It'll be too late. 

    Bet I left you confused now too eh :).

    Best regards,


  • Picture of SusieQ
    From SusieQ  
    04 April 2017 at 10:56
    Edited on: 04 April 2017 at 11:01

    Hi John,

    First of all - a warm welcome to Maggie's Online Centre.

    I just thought I'd drop in and say 'hello' - as this sounds a daunting time. The uncertainty about the future takes away the sense of control about how our lives are panning out. The chemo sounds an unknown quantity too, and that can be a scary prospect.

    It's a time like this that taking small steps rather than quantum leaps, can feel more managable...going from day to day, chemo cycle to chemo cycle - and steadfastly working towards getting through. You sound understandably shocked and I think this may be adding to the trance light state you feel in. This overwhelmed state may feel less so, as treatment commences, and some sort of new temporary routine starts.

    Others on here may be able to add their own experiences - what has helped them through this initial whirlwind of emotions...

    Warm wishes



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