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As well as sharing experiences with our friendly online community, registered members are able to contact our experienced online team. The Centre is staffed during office hours and the online team aim to reply within 24 hours.

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Picture of Topic  'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Topic

Topic 'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Share how you are feeling and swap tips for managing stress with other members and the online team

  • 186 conversations

Broken

Started by Anonymous on 24 June 2014 at 10:39

I was diganosed with breast cancer a week ago and i can't stop crying today. I was told yesterday that my appointment with the plastic surgeon is not until 31st July. I can't wait that long. I'm off work sick, and I live alone. Friends don't have the time and family are elderly or far away. I wanted to visit the local Maggie's Centre today but I can't stop crying long enough to get on the train. And I hate crying in public on my own. I don't know what to do with myself. 

Comments (8)

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Displaying 8 comments

  • From Anonymous
    01 July 2014 at 18:38

    Thanks, Tom. My work pays my usual salary for 6 months, then half pay for a further 6 months after that. I don't need to worry about money at the moment but it might be useful to get some information in case my treatment takes a long time. I'm hoping to go back to the centre on Thursday for Tai Chi, so will try to remember to ask then.


  • Picture of Tombenefits
    From Tombenefits  
    01 July 2014 at 17:14

    Hello,

    I'm Tom, the Online Benefits Advisor.

    It can be a weird shock when you first get a diagnosis - suddenly your world is turned upside down, and all those fears at the C word bubble up, especially when you are on your own. I remember those dark post diagnosis days and stunned disbelief well.

    But glad to hear that you are now feeling a little less alone with it and hope you will find that continues as you gather friendship strength and support at your local Centre and here online.

    So many have told me that as they learn more, they discover there is still life and hope after diagnosis, though of course there are down days too. 

    As you get your breath back, one practical issue might emerge about finances and benefits support as you are off sick from work. If you are in touch with your local Maggie's Centre you will soon discover that there is a Benefits Advisor there, and you won't be able to beat them for face to face advice and help with forms.

    But if there is anything I can help you with,  a thought or question pops up in the middle of the night or if treatment makes it hard to pop into your local Centre, please feel free to message me at any time.

    Best wishes,

    Tom

    Benefits Advisor - Maggie's Online Centre   


  • From Anonymous
    01 July 2014 at 12:29
    Edited on: 01 July 2014 at 12:31

    Thanks, beverley. I think I was just having a very bad day when I first posted. I'm ok now, and there's talk of having my lymph samples taken before the plastic surgeon appointment, which is reassuring. Made it to Maggie's twice last week, once just for a chat and to a yoga class. I'm going back today to try the relaxation class. 


  • From Anonymous
    01 July 2014 at 12:23

    Hi Donna,

    I was so sad to read your message but you can get through this. A diagnosis of cancer is so frightening and it seems to take forever waiting to see a specialist.

    You will get loads of support here on Maggie's. If you want to chat please don't hesistate to private message me.

    Best Wishes Beverley x


  • From Anonymous
    24 June 2014 at 11:55

    Thank you


  • Picture of SusieQ
    From SusieQ  
    24 June 2014 at 11:44

    Hello,

    I'm going to write you a private message, and together, we'll have a think about easing that natural but scary sense of helplessness and isolation...

    You wisely recognise that the initial shock is wearing off, and reality kicking in...and the flood of emotions that brings can be frightening. Sometimes at this stage, you can feel totally overwhelmed....so maybe you and I can talk about your fears, concerns and questions...

    Look in your Maggie's homepage for my message...you should receive it within half an hour...(my typing permitting)...

    Warm wishes

    Sue


  • From Anonymous
    24 June 2014 at 11:32

    The nurse specialist is going to try and get the appointment brought forward. I was OK til yesterday when I found out when the appointment was, but now I'm thinking I was just numb and in shock and my true feelings are coming out. I don't think I could even tell the taxi driver where I was going if I tried to get a taxi. I do feel very alone and helpless.


  • Picture of SusieQ
    From SusieQ  
    24 June 2014 at 11:23
    Edited on: 24 June 2014 at 11:32

    Hello,

    It can feel all so out of control, when you receive the news of a cancer diagnosis...and distressing as today feels, it sounds a normal reaction to feel overwhelmed by tears. You are reacting to a 'threat' to your world as you know it...and this includes possible physical changes too. You mention that your appointment with the plastic surgeon isn't until 31st July.  This is five weeks away, and sounds quite a long time.

    Have you met a breast care nurse specialist yet....perhaps you could phone her to clarify the reason for such a wait? If you don't feel up to that, if you haven't already been, do see your GP to let them know know how you're feeling. He or she may be able to find out the reason for your appointment being some time yet. I'm thinking you're seeing the plastic surgeon to discuss reconstruction..?

    Is the Maggie's Centre a long way from where you live? Is it worth a one off taxi visit (of course, this may be far too expensive..).  You mention your friends haven't got the time to be able to support you...this sounds a lonely thought. Sometimes friends aren't sure what to say...but I suspect one or two at least might like to help in some way...?  You mention you are off sick at the moment...have you a work colleague, or someone there who you could talk to?

    Breast Cancer Care that offers a telephone helpline service , and they will be able to go through some of the specific worries and questions you may have about your breast cancer....and hopefully can help reassure you that the feelings you're expressing today should ease...as well as point out local support groups in your area.

    Here at Maggie's Online Centre, we have many members who have, or have had breast cancer...and can offer you an encouraging word. You may also find it helpful to join our online 'General Cancer Support Group' which meets on a monday evening at 5pm (for further information about our online groups, follow the link here).

    You are also very welcome to message either Robyn or myself to talk things through some more?  You headed your message 'Broken'....and I'd like to help you put the pieces back together again,

    Warm wishes

    Sue

    Cancer Support Specialist - Maggie's Online Centre


Displaying 8 comments


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