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Friends and family

For anyone supporting someone else with cancer

  • 147 conversations

Shocked and so worried

Started by Anonymous on 15 June 2017 at 01:06

My husband had a early lung cancer surgically removed over 5 years ago ( adenocarcinoma) ..He has annual check up now and this week was supposed to be the last one before he was "signed off"...we were stunned when his Consultant said that there was a leison on his kidney and a shadow on his liver. She is sending him for a liver biopsy to clarify if its kidney cancer or a return of the Lung Cancer. I am devastated as he only recently finished chemo for CLL ( Leukemia) and he suffered from severe chest infections for months aferwards due to his weakened immune system . I'm worried that he won't get the best treatment because of this. I feel in a state of panic. I dont want him to feel more anxious so I say nothing ...I feel like I can't breathe , my heart is pounding . Are there other people with multiple disease? I want to be a comfort to my dear husband but feel like I'm falling apart myself...

Comments (2)

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  • From Anonymous
    15 June 2017 at 14:14

    Thank you Sue .I will reply to your PMx


  • Picture of SusieQ
    From SusieQ  
    15 June 2017 at 09:37
    Edited on: 15 June 2017 at 09:42

    Hello,

    The news that your husband has either a new cancer, or recurrence of a previous one, sounds a real shock. You and he have been through a great deal together, with his early lung cancer some years ago, and then the CLL (Chronic Lymphocytic Leukaemia). It would not have been the news either of you expected or wanted.

    As we live longer, the chance of having two or more cancers over a lifetime increases - about one in six people may develop more than one type. Some of that is due to genetics, and then there can be lifestyle and environment factors, and even some as a consequence of treatments they've had for previous cancers.

    Although it's tempting (and understandable) to be overwhelmed by the thought of yet another cancer, and the need for more treatment - the biopsy should help define what is going on. There may be a range of treatment options available - and consideration will be made as to how his immune system would cope, so soon after completing treatment for CLL.

    I'm imagining that, psychologically, this has thrown you back into those initial emotions when he was diagnosed before - and the uncertainty about what the future holds again. Panic is a natural reaction to a threat - and that's what this recent news may feel like.

    On a practical note, find or rediscover your support networks - for the partner of someone with cancer is often as deeply affected, as the person recently diagnosed. It is OK to share with your husband that you're feeling worried too - you're in this together, and he will know you well enough...he may already be recognising that you're stunned too.

    You may find, as the initial panic subsides, that you're able to draw on previous coping strategies, that helped you and your husband during previous cancers. If the panic is feeling overwhelming, having a discussion with your GP about what is going on, can be a support too.

    If you live near one of our Maggie's Centres, you'd be welcome to drop in and access some support, and information on how to process what is happening now.

    There are other online members who either have a second or third cancer themselves, or have a family member who has faced this....if anyone in a similar position is reading this, I hope they'll comment - you'd find this all supportive too...

    I will send you a personal message, to touch base, as this sounds a challenging time...

    Warm wishes

    Sue

     


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