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As well as sharing experiences with our friendly online community, registered members are able to contact our experienced online team. The Centre is staffed during office hours and the online team aim to reply within 24 hours.

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Picture of Topic  'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Topic

Topic 'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Share how you are feeling and swap tips for managing stress with other members and the online team

  • 186 conversations

theres no words

Started by Anonymous on 12 July 2016 at 10:47

Hello seems to be the only word i can say without any emotions. my partner was diagnosed feb 2016 with lung cancer that had already spread to his lymph nodes, prognosis 4-6 months without treatment. he had one chemo cycle in april.which resulted in physical complications he has decided no more chemo and says god will decide the minute and hour when he dies.

theress no words that can make a difference to what we all as a family are enduring! 

Comments (2)

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  • From Anonymous
    18 August 2016 at 00:13

    Hi Dee, I'm so very sorry to hear of your partner's diagnosis and predicament. I've just joined Maggie's online tonight and felt I wanted to respond to your post. As a stage 4 lung cancer patient since July 2014, who has just (on Monday) been advised its spread further in chest lymph node, and is aggressive, terminal, and needs chemo, I can empathise fully with your partner's situation. It's very hard coming to terms with it all and having to face reality, and the whole spectrum of emotions which the person and their loved ones go through. I can understand your partner's decision, as it does give him control and will hopefully allow you to share quality time together meantime. (Agree with Sue). Time to sort things out and cherish each moment with loved ones. Precious time. Heartfelt thoughts are sent to you all. x


  • Picture of SusieQ
    From SusieQ  
    12 July 2016 at 11:27

    Hello,

    As you have so eloquently described, there are times when consolatory words may offer little comfort.

    ...human language is vast, but sometimes it feels there are few words capable of describing emotional pain. You and your family have had a great deal to bear since your partner's diagnosis in February...and now a feeling of harsh reality sounds painfully near.

    It sounds as though the chemotherapy was causing more problems than it should, and your partner has made the difficult (but perhaps necessary) step of saying enough is enough. This can be a time for him to rally from the chemotherapy effects, and focus on quality of whatever time is left. It doesn't take away the enormity of what lies ahead, but may give him back a sense of control over what happens next.

    Support for him, and you all as a family is paramount at this time - focusing on living day by day, sorting out practical issues, and saying the things that are important to you as a family unit, and to you as his partner.

    If you live near one of our Maggie's Centres, you'd be very welcome to drop in, and talk through the intensity of emotions you're understandably feeling right now. We have others here online too, who have been where you are today, and can offer support, either via this conversation thread, or by personal message to you.

    We also run an online support group for families, partners and friends, on Monday evenings, which might be something you'd find helpful? (see our 'live' group directory for more details).

    I'll message you personally to introduce myself, and hope you'll feel able to message either Robyn or myself to talk anything through...

    Thinking of you today,

    Warm wishes

    Sue

     

     


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