You can talk to other members of Maggie's Online Centre by reading and participating in the conversations.
As well as sharing experiences with our friendly online community, registered members are able to contact our experienced online team. The Centre is staffed during office hours and the online team aim to reply within 24 hours.
Psychologists and experts from other Maggie's Centres and partner organisations also facilitate some group and individual sessions.
I am feeling a bit lost and joining this site might help a little.
in late 2015 my Dad was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer, completely out of the blue. He had chemotherapy and an oesophagectomy. In summer 2016, he was told he was now 'all clear' and had 'more chance of being hit by a bus' than see the cancer returning. This seemed like a miracle and we thought we'd been so lucky. Another CT scan in January came back clear.
Unfortunately he started to get some issues with his eyesight. An MRI revealed several metastases in the brain - not curable. He's just finished radiotherapy which may give him a bit longer but the oncologist's prognosis is 'a few months'.
I am 27 and my Dad is 56. This has come as such a big shock. I met the palliative care nurse yesterday and she said we should 'spend time with him daily'. Unfortunately I live in London, and it takes about 3 hours to get to my Dad's by public transport. I'm about to start a new job (full time) and am studying for an MSc in Psychology during the evenings so life is very busy.
I think all I can do is travel back to see my Dad at weekends. This feels grossly inadequate but I'm not sure what else to do. Dad's coping with all this very well - says he feels calm and wants to enjoy the time he's got left. He's got a lot of family and friends nearby and says it's fine for me to see him at weekends and speak over the phone during the week.
I am worried about how Dad's quality of life may deteriorate (as a psychology student it's very apparent to me how important the brain is for everything you do!). I also don't know how I'm going to cope without Dad. He's a role model, mentor and friend. Whenever I've got a problem or am not sure how to handle a situation - be it work, relationships, whatever - I call him. I do have a long-term partner who is very supportive but my Dad's my Dad. All this forces you to grow up fast.
All people keep saying to me is 'you never really get over losing a parent', and I don't know why they keep telling me that as if it will make me feel better, but it just makes me feel hopeless for the future.
If anyone has any advice, I'd be very glad to hear it.