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'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Share how you are feeling and swap tips for managing stress with other members and the online team

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Depressed

Started by Anonymous on 09 March 2018 at 13:35

Hello,

Not quite sure how to start out this post, but it would have been mums birthday on the 19th of this month and of course mothering sunday this week, ive been irritable, constant mood swings, i miss her.

Mum got cancer along side her lung condition and we were told in 2017, dad had been battling cancer from 2016. He pulled through and is now in the clear. Unfortunately she didnt make it.

She's not here and all I can do is organise for a nice planter for her plot at the Cemetery next for her and the two grand parents.

Comments (1)

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  • Picture of Robyn
    From Robyn  
    09 March 2018 at 15:50

    Anniversaries are often difficult days following the loss of anyone close and I can imagine the constant reminders of mothering Sunday are painful on top of the anticipation of your Mum’s birthday.

    Although it may feel anything but normal for you the emotions and mood swings you describe are a normal part of bereavement. Grief comes in waves that ebb and flow rather than the straight line that others around you may expect. This means that the larger waves can take you by surprise and knock you harder when you feel you have been starting to manage things more easily. In turn this can make you feel as if you moving backward rather than forwards….

    Organising the planter sounds a nice way to do something for your mum and a way of acknowledging those waves. It is early days in terms of your bereavement so time to be kind to yourself, ease workload where you can and allow yourself some space to focus on yourself , to relax and do something you enjoy.

    I don’t know how much you have been able to talk with others about how you have been feeling ? Talking (and also writing) can be also helpful ways of releasing those emotions and easing the mood swings.

    In the early days of grief, memories of the person you have lost are likely to be painful perhaps of times when they were ill. Gradually, as those waves even out a bit, happier memories of that person and the time you shared together will begin to surface.

    A while back I came across the poem below someone ( i don’t know who) wrote about their mother which I think you may like reading
    Best wishes
    Robyn


    For all the times you gently picked me up,
    When I fell down,
    For all the times you tied my shoes
    And tucked me into bed,
    Or needed something
    But put me first instead.
    For everything we shared,
    The dreams, the laughter,
    And the tears,
    I love you with a "Special Love" That deepens every year.


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