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Picture of Topic  'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions


Topic 'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Share how you are feeling and swap tips for managing stress with other members and the online team

  • 186 conversations

I have no feelings

Started by Anonymous on 23 July 2016 at 19:09

A week has gone by since my wife passed away and today I don't feel anything. Not sad, not weepy, not tired.

Nothing! It feels very strange.

Comments (4)

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Displaying 4 comments

  • From Anonymous
    25 July 2016 at 09:43
    Edited on: 25 July 2016 at 10:54

    I know exactly what you mean LeilaM. With Isabel it was toast and bacon. The butter had to be in a separate pot and spread there and then. The toast wrapped in tinfoil to stay warm.

    The last couple of weeks she enjoyed a wee Baileys before bedtime. Thank you 24 hr Tesco!

    Like you I would have gone to the ends of the earth to make her happy and more settled.

    I'm really happy there's a small light at the end of your long pitch dark tunnel. I hope it gets nearer and bigger every day for you.

    Thank you for your messages. it means a lot to know people are thinking of others at this awful awful time.

  • From Anonymous
    24 July 2016 at 22:47

    I found things around me constantly reminded me of those last few weeks with my Mum, and food was a big one - preparing it and taking it to her. Mum suddenly wanted scrambled eggs each morning which was not easy to get just right, and hot and ready including walking to the hospital! - it was a bit more than I could manage at the time, but I wanted to do anything I could do make things nicer for her. 

    It's a bit longer since my Mum died now, I went on holiday last week and was able to get a bit of distance. Coming back so many things in my home remind me of her, and it was painful, but it's less sharp since the holiday, getting away and taking some time out. I wish I had taken a holiday sooner, but couldn't have organised my way out of a paper bag! - a friend forced me to go.. 

    I can understand more tears are there for you now, they say tears are the body's way of letting out stress and emotion so you can feel better, but it felt like it took me a long time for that to really work! It is such very early days for you, it's such a big adjustment to accommodate, someone loved so much leaves a big gap but also an ocean of memories that hopefully will be a comfort further down the journey.  Seeing someone you love pass away was for me deeply shocking and traumatic looking back, but time does heal however hard it may be to believe it. 

    I wondered two months ago if I would ever feel ok again, but some of me does now, some of the time. And I'm starting to believe I will be ok, but it's going to take a while yet for me.

    Hoping tomorrow feels like a better day for you.

  • From Anonymous
    24 July 2016 at 14:54
    Edited on: 24 July 2016 at 15:08

    Thank you LeilaM. She really was a fashion conscious lady with beautiful silver hair.

    I know exactly what you mean. My numbness has gone and it's back to the tears. I went to turn on the grille this morning then remembered the last time I used it was to make a grilled bacon croissant  and take It to lsabel in the hospice. Cue the tears and a water-logged bacon roll for lunch.

    Hope you're beginning to feel a wee bit better and thank you for taking time to read and reply to me.


  • From Anonymous
    24 July 2016 at 14:39

    I had days like that too very soon after my Mum died in March, I found it odd and confusing after the mess of the days leading up to the day she died. I think it may be the mind's way to give you a break, I'm aftraid not feeling anything didn't go on and on, there was more emotions to come for me. I wish I had been able to enjoy those times when I felt nothing, rest and look after myself and not spent my time questioning if it was ok to feel that way. I hope you find the right way for you through these days. I'm so very sorry for your loss. From the photo she looks beautiful - and with a great fashion sense. 

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