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As well as sharing experiences with our friendly online community, registered members are able to contact our experienced online team. The Centre is staffed during office hours and the online team aim to reply within 24 hours.

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Picture of Topic  'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions


Topic 'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Share how you are feeling and swap tips for managing stress with other members and the online team

  • 186 conversations

Im feeling a bit of every emotion.

Started by Anonymous on 09 March 2011 at 15:17

My big brother is in hospital today in prep for an operation to remove his voice box due to throat cancer, this is the second time in 18mnths he's been diagnosed but this time its aggressive. We have never been particularly close but im struggling to cope emotionally. He is now being fed through a tube in his nose and it broke my heart when i seen him like this, i have spoken to him recently and told him i dont think i could cope with visiting him in hospital but that i will be thinking about him.

Im angry with myself for being weak and not handling it well, im confused because im more upset than i feel i have a right to be because we're not close and i upset because i cant face seeing him like this and im scared im going to loose him. I also feel selfish in a way as he has kids and im just thinking about how this is effecting me.

Comments (3)

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  • From Anonymous
    16 March 2011 at 12:59

    please do not feel guity about not visiting your brother,i'm sure he knows your there for him in mind@spirit.hospitals are not the best places to be at times@if your feeling emotinonally fragile then your prob battet at home where you can stay in touch with friends @family.your only human

  • From Anonymous
    16 March 2011 at 08:17

    my first bereavement session today,so i'm a little nervous ,not quite sure what to expect. michael

  • Picture of Robyn
    From Robyn  
    09 March 2011 at 22:12
    Edited on: 09 March 2011 at 22:15

    Hello Gail

    It sounds like you are on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster at the moment and that's not you being selfish its a normal reaction to have when faced with something that is difficult to understand and deal with.
    You have spoken to your brother and told him you find it difficult to cope and I imagine he will appreciate your honesty.
    I am glad you have found Maggie's online, I  am sure others members of the online community who have been in similar situations will get in touch with you.

     I don't know where you live but you would be welcome to drop into one of  our centres or if its easier or you prefer to stay online we have an online carers support group This group meets online once a week and is led by one of our psychologists - you can  find out more and register here.

      Lots of people find it hard to visit hospitals  - you could perhaps phone and send him a message or you may find that you are able to support your brother in other ways - if you live near enough perhaps you are able to help out with his children.
    In the meantime best wishes to both you and your brother

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