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As well as sharing experiences with our friendly online community, registered members are able to contact our experienced online team. The Centre is staffed during office hours and the online team aim to reply within 24 hours.

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Picture of Topic  'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions


Topic 'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Share how you are feeling and swap tips for managing stress with other members and the online team

  • 186 conversations

I'm feeling

Started by Anonymous on 28 November 2011 at 19:25

Hi, feeling very alone, my husband died in August this year with colorectal cancer which we never knew he had, he had went into get his spleen removed because he had low platelets and the medication he was getting he was told it was to expensive and was advised that spleen removal was his best option, and from that so called straight forward procedure it was all down hill from there.

I would just like to know if he had not had this operation would he have been still alive and seen the birth of our second little grandchild. and we would still be a happy family. as it has been so sad and our wedding anniversary is coming up soon and christmas I do not know how I will cope . some advice would be most appreciated.  Thank you

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  • Picture of Robyn
    From Robyn  
    29 November 2011 at 14:11
    Edited on: 29 November 2011 at 14:14

    Hello Issaybon

    I am not able to answer the question about whether your husband would still be alive if he had not had the operation however I do think that you need to talk to someone who was involved in his care and to have the opportunity  to ask the questions  that you need answers to. 

    You could ask to meet with his hospital consultant or,  if you feel unable to contact them directly you could  ask via the Patient Advice and Liason Service (PALS)  or another healthcare professional  who you feel able to talk to – a specialist nurse or a bereavement officer. They can either arrange for a meeting  or ask the questions on your behalf.

    You are welcome to message me anytime

     Best wishes


  • From Anonymous
    29 November 2011 at 08:11

    Hi Issaybon,

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss of your beloved husband. No one can really answer your question about your husband's op and if he hadn't had the op would he still be here. I am sure that the medical professionals your husband was under the care of, would have given him the best care they could. It annoys me though when mentioned about the cost of drugs to treat cancer patients. I can understand the drugs will cost money to develop but surely once thay are developed and tried and tested this should bring the price down. Who benefits from these high costs I wonder?

    How many years had you been together?

    Best Wishes Beverley

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