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Picture of Topic  'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions


Topic 'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Share how you are feeling and swap tips for managing stress with other members and the online team

  • 186 conversations


Started by Anonymous on 08 December 2012 at 19:39
Edited on 08 December 2012 at 20:39

Since my Dad was diagnosed with cancer in September, I started having nightmares.  Not every night, but 2-3 times a week.

Last night I had one that left me tearful all day.


Each one is the same, just set in a different place.  In my dream it is my responsibilty to get my dad to a 'safe place'.   Whether it's out of a burning building, to a specific destination or across a collapsing floor in a high rise building.  Each time, I wake screaming. 


Anyone else suffering this?

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  • From Anonymous
    09 December 2012 at 11:17

    I just read one of your previous messages Kate, my Dad had the same type of cancer - in his oesophagus.  I lost him in June of this year.  I think this type of cancer makes you especially anxious about your loved one because of the difficulties with eating that it causes - I found it very distressing to watch my Dad struggle to eat, in fact it made me feel very guilty to be able to eat normally myself - I would only eat the soft foods that my Dad could manage for a while as I felt too bad to eat anything he couldn't. Strange but true, I felt a bit weird but it worked for me at the time (I didnt tell Dad)

    You also said in an earlier message that 'the only person in the world with cancer' is your Dad. I can strongly relate to that too.  At one point when my Dad was in intensive care (his cancer was operable, but before his operations he had chemo that he had a very bad reaction to) we were surrounded by people in their own family crisises, the only person in the world who I could focus on at that time was my Dad - nobody else mattered. (I felt selfish too, but it was my Dad who needed all my love and energy at that time)

    Anyway, I hope you and your Dad are doing ok.  Shout from the rooftops if you are ever feeling that your Dad or you are not getting enough support, care or pain relief - my experience is that there is lots of great care out there, but sometimes we needed to give the GP/nurses etc a little nudge for more, if they don't know things are getting worse they can't help.

    I wish for you and your Dad some wonderful time together, the last while I had with my Dad was very very special to me. 


  • From Anonymous
    09 December 2012 at 10:52


    I did not have nightmares as such, but when my Dad was ill I often woke at strange times in the night feeling very anxious - 'In a cold sweat', as they say. 

    It is only natural, you are worried sick about your Dad and whether he will be ok. 

    What helped me most is having time to talk about my fears during the day, this helped prevent it all coming out at night.  I spoke often about it to my sister, as sometimes I couldn't with Dad (we were going through the same thing).  I found that when I managed to work through my anxiety about things during the day, I would sleep better and night. 

    I wish you and your Dad the best of luck with his treatment.  Its a very diffucult time for both of you. 


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