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Topic 'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

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  • 186 conversations

Laughter

Started by Anonymous on 18 May 2011 at 15:13

I can't find a section for laughter, I know I may be missing it and that cancer is not funny. But we can be funny people with cancer. In more ways than one!

People who make me laugh, smile or grin are always remembered. Do we take ourselves far too seriously at times. Can a little light hearted banter and even a joke in the right context help our day?

I find it hard to be correct in my application of humour within "Conversations" at times. But realise that in real life we can't get by without it. I  understand  good humour is important when we speak to each other on the board, but wondered if that is sometimes a watered down version of how we comunicate and the truth. When we share a joke or anothers light hearted take or twist on a situation it can help us deal with our own.

Is there a fun section on the board anywhere? If not can we have one please, to visit every now and then when light hearted input would be of help.

Nick

Comments (77)

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Displaying 1-10 of 77 comments

  • From Anonymous
    06 September 2011 at 18:02

    Hi all
     
    If recent investigations suggest that laughter is a form of communication, probably the first one in the human race which later evolved, with the liberation of voice from walking and breathing, into human language. I thought a joke may get us talking?
     
    I guess watching the weather destroy my garden and my tomatoes rot with blight has reminded me summer is on it's way out. So fancied a laugh. here's a few from Wales:
     

    An Englishman travelling on a very dark night in the Welsh mountains heard a cry for help from someone who had fallen into a ravine near the road.

    "Who is it?" he replied cautiously, fearing a trap.

    "Dafydd ap Gwilym ap Rhys AP Gruffydd ap Ifan ap Jenkyn" came the response.

    "Well", replied  the Englishman, "if there's half a dozen of you down there you can jolly well pull one another out."

     

    A man and his wife were driving through Wales on their holidays when they suddenly saw a sign that said "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysili ogogogoch".
    The husband attempts to say it, but his wife starts laughing and soon this turns into a argument, so much so that they decide to pull into the nearest motorway restaurant.
    Finishing their meal, the wife can't help but question the waitress. "Excuse me miss," asked the wife, "but can you settle an argument between my husband and me? Can you pronounce the name of where we are, but very slowly please."
    The cashier looks at the woman funny and says, "Sure, you are in Liiiiittttttllllleeeee Chhhhhheeeeefffff!"

     

    Cabbie Rhys Parry was taking an American tourist from Bristol to Cardiff. When they were going over the Severn Bridge, the American told Rhys he had a longer bridge on his ranch in Colorado. When they arrived in Cardiff, Rhys showed him Cardiff Castle and he said his garage in Colorado was twice as big and only took a week to build.

    When the tourist spotted the Millennium Stadium, he asked Rhys what it was.

    He replied: “I don’t know, mate, it wasn’t there this morning


  • From Anonymous
    06 July 2011 at 18:04
    Edited on: 06 July 2011 at 19:00

    The Problem with Speaking English

    Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

    Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

    Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

    Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

    Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

    CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

    Je pense un autre vin pour mois, ma peche!! xx (no mention of Franglais)

    Loosely translates, I think i'll have another glass of French my fishy one x ( :


  • Picture of lorraine
    06 July 2011 at 18:03

    dinny think i,m going to talk to you again... ha ha very funny :)

    from lorraine the mermaid xx


  • From Anonymous
    06 July 2011 at 17:18

    Another rainy day

    Wee Hughie adored and loved his girlfriend, Lorraine, to whom he was engaged to be married. Wedding plans were well underway and he was looking forward to spending the rest of his lfe with Lorraine.
    However, a beutiful young lady, called Clearly, came to work in his glen and they found that they got on together very well and as time went by, Wee Hughie realised that he was in love with Clearly and that the Love was reciprocated.
    Being a gentleman he decided that as he had promised to marry Lorraine he would do so and steadily removed himself from his other relationship.
    One day, he and Lorraine were walking along the banks of the River Tay. As they walked, Lorraine slipped and fell into the river and was swept away and drowned.
    He stood on the bank for a few minutes feeling very sad before walking away singing happily.
    And this is what he sang.
    "I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone"


  • From Anonymous
    30 June 2011 at 23:06

    Having cursed the fact we have no spell check, I thought you'd enjoy this one!

    Ode to a Spell Chequer

    I have a spelling chequer
    It came with my PC
    It plainly marks for my revue
    miss takes I cannot see
    I've run this poem threw it
    I'm shore your pleased two no
    its letter perfect in its weigh
    my chequer tolled me sew.


  • Picture of lorraine
    18 June 2011 at 11:51

    ha ha

    BRILLAINT,

    wait till you read my blog later you will laugh.

    lorraine xx


  • From Anonymous
    18 June 2011 at 10:47

    A joke for a rainy day

    Once upon a time, there was a mother who was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you b-- who want off, get the f--- off now, cause this is the last stop! #And all of you b- who are getting on, get your arses in the train, 'cause we're going down the tracks."

    The mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

    Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. #We thank you for riding with us today and I hope your trip was a pleasant one. #We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

    As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b-- in the kitchen."


  • From Anonymous
    10 June 2011 at 20:59

     
     
     
     

     

    Mouse Balls

     

    I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face. This apparently was a real memo sent at a computer company to its employees in all seriousness. This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor! (Especially note last sentence!)

    Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit.) Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement.

    Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.

    Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacture of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method.

    Mouse balls are not usually static-sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

    Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

    It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.

    Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.


  • From Anonymous
    09 June 2011 at 20:26

    After the CAT Christmas crackers, I thought I'd give a dog a chance!

    HELP WANTED

     

    A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

    A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office.

    Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

    The manager was stunned, but then told the dog "the sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer.

    The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."

    The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

    The manager said "yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual."

    The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Miaow!"


  • From Anonymous
    08 June 2011 at 22:24
    Edited on: 08 June 2011 at 22:56

     I'm having a cat day, A few one liners to start. LOL 

    Cat Jokes

    Next

    Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.

    Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.

    What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

    What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.

    Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

    What is a cat's favourite song? Three Blind Mice.

    What did the freshman computer science major say when he was told that the work stations had mice? Don't you have a cat?

    What is a cat's way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.

    How did a cat take first prize at the bird show? He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.

    Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? For kitty littering.

    Why did the litter of communist kittens become capitalists? Because they finally opened their eyes.

    Why are cats better than babies? Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.

    What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat? Hiss and Tell.

    What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cat? A big furry creature that purrs while it sits on your lap and squashes you.

    What does a cat do when it gets mad? It has a hissy fit.

    What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.

    What happened when the cat went to the flea circus? He stole the whole show!

    What is a cat's favourite colour? Purrrrrrrple!

    Where does a cat go when it loses its tail? The retail store.

    What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.

    What do cats use to make coffee? A purrcolator.

    What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck? A duck filled fatty puss.

    If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.

    Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he's in a bad mewd.

    If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat? None! They were copy cats.

    Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you? That depends on whether you're a man or a mouse.

    How does the cat get its own way? With friendly purrsuasion.

    What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew.

    What has more lives than a cat? A frog because it croaks every night.

    What is a cat's favourite subject in school? HISStory.

    What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.

    How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.

    What's happening when you hear "woof... splat... meow... splat?" It's raining cats and dogs.

    Why are cats such good singers? Because they're very mewsical.

    What do you call newborn kittens who keep getting passed from owner to owner? Chain litter.

    What is the cat's favourite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.

    How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn't empty.

    Why do you always find the cat in the last place you look? Because you stop looking after you find it.

    If a cat can jump five feet high, then why can't it jump through a three foot window? Because the window is closed.

    What is a cat's favourite movie? "The Sound of Mewsic."

    What does a cat that lives near the beach have in common with Christmas? Sandy Claws.

    Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can't? Your lap.

    Why did the cat put oil on the mouse? Because it squeaked.

    What side of the cat has the most fur? The OUT-side.

    What is a cat's favourite car? The Catillac.

    What kind of cat will keep your grass short? A Lawn Meower.

    Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of cats? Because each of them was guilty of purrjury.

    What do you use to comb a cat? A catacomb.

    Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark!

    Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide? Because he's always spotted.


Displaying 1-10 of 77 comments


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