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As well as sharing experiences with our friendly online community, registered members are able to contact our experienced online team. The Centre is staffed during office hours and the online team aim to reply within 24 hours.

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Picture of Topic  'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Topic

Topic 'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Share how you are feeling and swap tips for managing stress with other members and the online team

  • 186 conversations

stuck and scared

Started by Anonymous on 01 July 2014 at 20:04

I have been treated successfully for breast cancer: chemo, mastectomy, radiotherapy... All finished. I am back at work and all should be fine. Why am I wanting to cry and shout? my colleagues are happy to see me, not always tacful but well meaning.

I am scared of the cancer coming back. I am scared of my life never being normal again. At the same time I cannot forget about these last 10 months. I cannot move on!

Comments (4)

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Displaying 4 comments

  • From Anonymous
    06 July 2014 at 20:14

    I completely understand and empathise with fears about facing the future after treatment is completed and you begin to return to 'normal life'. I am due to return to work next week and was feeling so scared and lost, even though I have been given every reason to be optimistic. Because of this I visited my local Maggies Centre on Friday although I was worried that I would be considered strange to be visiting there after my all clear. However, that couldn't have been further from the truth. The staff and volunteers were so kind and explained that it is normal to feel this way. Of course the fears are still there, but knowing I have someone to go and speak to whenever I need to really makes a lot of difference. If you have a Maggies centre nearby, do go there and seek support. if not, this online community is a space to air your feelings at a time when help and support is still very much needed. All the very best Sue


  • From Anonymous
    03 July 2014 at 14:25

    Hi this is my first time on this ,I am  about to start radiotherapy after 3 lumpectomy glad I am at this stage but scared as well. x


  • Picture of SusieQ
    From SusieQ  
    02 July 2014 at 08:49
    Edited on: 02 July 2014 at 09:12

    Hello,

    The reply from C2FEA is a wonderful supportive response, from one who has been there, and shared that fear...and I think only someone who has been in that situation can fully understand what you are describing. It can be frustrating, when everyone else around you seems to be expecting you to be back to normal, and get on with life. Well meaning as that is, it doesn't help the scary thoughts that may be popping in your head from time to time.

    I'm not sure how comforting it will be for me to assure you, that in this point post cancer treatment, what you describe is natural. You have been through a life changing, and a potentially life threatening experience...and the reality of the past few months may just be sinking in. You've experienced physical changes, intense and draining treatments, and may have had to battle with post treatment fatigue, and changes in life style.

    It's about learning to manage this new life, and to put the fear of the cancer returning, into perspective. Sometimes it's hard to do this alone. If you live near any of our Maggie's Centres, you may be interested in one of the 'Where Now' courses that they run, which look at strategies to re-build your life post treatment. The friendly Maggie's team would also welcome you if you feel like dropping in, and talking to people there, about how you're feeling. (I know when I worked at Maggie's Oxford, there would many other visitors expressing similar feelings post treatment). You also may find our Maggie's Cancerlinks's section on After treatment has finished' helpful.

    You've been through a great deal...and although it takes time, the fear generally eases...although I can't promise it won't go away all together...it does become more manageable..

    If you would like to talk a little more about how you are currently feeling, you are also very welcome to get message Robyn or myself...it can be a great relief to share how you feel.

    Looking forward to hearing from you,

    Warm wishes

    Sue

    Cancer Support Specialist - Maggie's Online Centre


  • From Anonymous
    01 July 2014 at 22:17

    You have been through hell, a horrible time. It is completely understandable to feel the way you do. In my own situation, I get fed up of people telling me to be positive when there is a natural and important grieving, gruelling treatment and healing process to go through. It's huge emotionally and physically and it hurts. BUT, I have been guilty of projecting myself forwards to things I will never see in life, particularly where my kids are concerned and a lovely friend reminded me that I just can't live my life like that. She's right. It's not fair on me, or my loved ones. Easily said I know, like working through your terror , but you must focus and find a way through, to live and breath, because - you have to. Sending you very best wishes and good luck my lovely. X


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