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As well as sharing experiences with our friendly online community, registered members are able to contact our experienced online team. The Centre is staffed during office hours and the online team aim to reply within 24 hours.

Psychologists and experts from other Maggie's Centres and partner organisations also facilitate some group and individual sessions.

Picture of Topic Parents with cancer

Topic

Topic Parents with cancer

Conversations for anyone whose child (young or adult) has been affected by cancer

  • 10 conversations

Helping my children

Started by Anonymous on 07 March 2018 at 20:27

Hi all my mum has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer  and given 3-6 months  to live this was in January.

My mum is doing ok at the moment and is home and we have been doing days out  etc my 3 children are 3 , 5 and 10 all very close  to my mum especially my 10 year old she has such a close bond  with her Nanny. 

All 3 know nanny is ill  and will not get better and will go to heaven my 10year old knows more  about the cancer she has recently been struggling I've the support from the school but been advised on getting counselling how do.i go about this and what's the best group?  I really want to help her she is struggling so bad  it breaks my heart.  I tried going through my mum's hospice  but because we live in a different borough they cant help .

Please help me and my daughter.

Thank you

Comments (2)

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Displaying 2 comments

  • From Anonymous
    08 March 2018 at 12:04

    Thank you so much Sue xxx this has helped a lot 


  • Picture of SusieQ
    From SusieQ  
    08 March 2018 at 11:46

    Hello,

    It sounds like you're already preparing the children as well as you can, for the future loss of their grandmother. It's a tough time for you too, I imagine. It's lovely that you are all a close family unit, and that memories are being forged with days out.

    Every child reacts differently to death and dying. Your ten year old, is old enough to be thinking more deeply about things, and sounds like she needs some help and support.

    You may have already obtained a useful booklet from Macmillan Cancer Support - 'Preparing a child for loss'? It's written from the perspective of parents preparing a child for their own death, but has good general advice.

    There are also some book suggestions from SeeSaw (an organisation for children's bereavement support in Oxfordshire) - 'Books about serious illness' which may provide some additional support.

    Riprap ( a charity supporting teenagers with a parent with cancer) has a list of counselling services and support in your local area, which could be a start. If you contact local organisations listed here, they may well know of counsellors your daughter can be referred to.

    If you live near one of our Maggie's Centres, we do offer family support, although not specific counselling for children - 'support for young people with parents with cancer'. I realise in your case, it's helping your daughter cope with the future loss of a grandparent, but as the relationship is close - she'll be experiencing similar confused feelings.

    Finally the health visitors or schools may know of ways of accessing counselling support locally - it's also worth asking at your GP surgery. I'd also ring your local hospice (in your borough) and ask if they know of any child counsellors in your area?

    I hope that gives you some ideas. In the meantime, this is also an emotionally challenging time for you too, and you're welcome to message Robyn or myself, if you'd like to talk anything through.

    Warm wishes

    Sue

     


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