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Picture of Topic  'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions


Topic 'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Share how you are feeling and swap tips for managing stress with other members and the online team

  • 186 conversations

Is enough enough?

Started by Anonymous on 28 January 2012 at 20:49

I have multiple Myeloma diagnosed nov 2010. Initially 3 weeks in hospital.Since then I have had two lots of chemo lasting 11months and two months of radiation to treat spinal cord compressions by collapsing spine and to treat hotspots,lots of blood transfusions,suffered heart failure and damage to heart is at 55%,damage to the kidneys from the treatment I have lost 4 inches in height and they won't tell me what stage etc I am at,just that it is October I came off Gabapentin as I was a zombie and now am razor sharp in brain not falling over ,but am an emotional wreck crying loads,and can't carry on. Am I wrong to say enough and want to end it As I have the means.

Comments (6)

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Displaying 6 comments

  • From Anonymous
    30 January 2012 at 14:40
    Edited on: 31 January 2012 at 14:29

    I've deleted my post and sent you a private message instead.x

  • From Anonymous
    30 January 2012 at 13:45

    Don't apologise for being a mess - that is totally understandable; I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

    You've mentioned how isolated and lonely you feel before. That must be so hard for you. I'm giving you an e-hug now!

    Have things got worse since we spoke or is it like this every day for you?

  • From Anonymous
    30 January 2012 at 13:36

    It's the loneliness and isolation that is getting to me as much as anything else ,my hubby is gorgeous but I need more than one person to talk to,I have tried so hard to find somewhere social to go but nothing around here except old people clubs and I mean old. Thanks for your msgs sorry I am such a mess .

  • From Anonymous
    30 January 2012 at 13:24
    Edited on: 30 January 2012 at 21:03

    Hello Schipp

    It sounds like you are really at the end of your tether and in a very dark place at the moment.

    You're not wrong to say you've had enough and want to end it - this is how you are feeling. You've been going through such a hard time, with so much treatment and then feeling so bad for such a long time. It seems like you are saying that you can't see things getting any better. Have you felt like this all the time since we last spoke?

    Although you say you are razor sharp in your brain, you can't stop crying. Are you in a lot of physical pain too?

    Please write and tell me more about what is going through your head. Send me a private message if you prefer.


    sparkler x




  • Picture of Robyn
    From Robyn  
    30 January 2012 at 11:47

    Dear Schipp

    You are not wrong to say how you are feeling...... you have had so much to cope with and I imagine it is very hard for you to see the way forward at the moment..... 

    .... it may be helpful to talk to someone about how you are feeling and to help you to find ways to manage both the physical, and emotional effects Myeloma is having on your life. 

    If you are near a Maggie’s centre you can drop in to speak to a cancer support specialist and  arrange to speak to one of our psychologists. 

    Have you been able to talk to someone from your medical team  about how you are feeling since you stopped the Gabapentin?   As well as discussing other possible  medication to help even out your  emotions  they should be able to  refer you to some counselling support ( if you are not able to get to  a Maggie’s centre) 

    You are also welcome to send me a message anytime

    Best wishes


  • From Anonymous
    30 January 2012 at 01:13

    Darling friend

    You have the right to choose. But also you must know that sometimes hope and change can come at the darkest hours.

    I send you much love. You don't know me. I was touched by your honesty.



Displaying 6 comments

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