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As well as sharing experiences with our friendly online community, registered members are able to contact our experienced online team. The Centre is staffed during office hours and the online team aim to reply within 24 hours.

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Picture of Topic  'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Topic

Topic 'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Share how you are feeling and swap tips for managing stress with other members and the online team

  • 186 conversations

Supporting my husband

Started by Anonymous on 30 September 2016 at 10:48

Hello I am Anna and my husband has liver cancer. We are hoping he will make it onto the transplant list next year. today I am having one of those days when I am not feeling so strong and nedd a bit of support myself. For the last month he has been unwell and hit by extreme fatique. It is sometimes hard to keep from been sucked down emotionally. Feeling a bit tearful today. x

 

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  • Picture of SusieQ
    From SusieQ  
    30 September 2016 at 11:32
    Edited on: 30 September 2016 at 11:32

    Hello Anna,

    It's hard having to try to be strong every day, when someone you love and care about, has a cancer diagnosis. Every apparent set back (like his fatigue, and general being unwell last month), will possibly be dampening your hopes for a transplant - and it's exhausting trying to be upbeat all of the time.

    Be kind to yourself if you can - you're likely to be physically and emotionally drained from everything that has been going on recently. If you're able to take breaks away, even for a few hours, so you can have some 'me' time - so much the better.

    It sounds as though you could do with some support too - being a partner to someone who has cancer can be an emotional strain - and not everyone realises that the carer often suffers  similar psychological stress as the person with cancer themselves.

    Here at Maggie's Online Centre, we have a support group which meets online every Monday evening. It's for 'Family, partners and friends' of someone who has cancer. (find out more about our support groups/workshops and courses here). I also note that the British Liver Trust has a list of local support groups.

    I'm aware that our regular online visitors will have seen me write this many times...but if you live near one of our Maggie's Centres, I hope you'll feel able to drop in and talk with one of the Maggie's team, and meet others who understand how you might be feeling today...

    Thinking of you,

    Warm wishes

    Sue


  • From Anonymous
    25 October 2016 at 21:54

    Hi Anna

    I can only tell you what keeps me positive in dealing with my cancer and then hope it works for you.

    First thing I did was to seek out positive stories about people with my type and stage of cancer.

    The next thing I did was read, read, read and read some more. I found that there's a lot of scientific research out there that doesn't filter back to the doctors - lots of information about stuff that can support the their recommended treatment. Hopefully there is information out there that can be useful for you too.

    However, the very act of looking for information can make you feel less helpless. Get as much information on his cancer and any treatments whether natural or pharmaceutical you can find. I love the www.nih.gov website.

    I don't know what his diet is like but I'm fairly sure there isn't a cancer that can't be helped at least a little bit by the consumption of lots more fruit and veg. Perhaps if there is room for improvement you can try working on that. Again it's the feeling of just trying something positive (and certainly won't do any harm) that can make you feel less helpless.

    Wishing you both all the best

    Ian


  • From Anonymous
    26 October 2016 at 13:17

    I agree with Ian that keeping positive is vital .  Finding out more on the internet about cancer, treatment, nutrition and research are all worthwhile endeavours.  All this can help you get more out of your discussions with the health professionals. 

    I too wish you both all the best

    Gordon

     

     

     


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