See what's happening in the Community

You are not logged in.   Log In

Meet the team

As well as sharing experiences with our friendly online community, registered members are able to contact our experienced online team. The Centre is staffed during office hours and the online team aim to reply within 24 hours.

Psychologists and experts from other Maggie's Centres and partner organisations also facilitate some group and individual sessions.

Picture of Topic  'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions


Topic 'Today I am feeling' - managing emotions

Share how you are feeling and swap tips for managing stress with other members and the online team

  • 186 conversations

very down

Started by Anonymous on 25 August 2012 at 17:13
Edited on 25 August 2012 at 18:02

This is my first time doing this. I've been thinking about going to my nearest Maggies Centre for a while and have been so busy I haven't got around to it.  Today though I can't seem to stop the tears coming to the surface.  I've got advanced melanoma and have had 3 lots of surgery in 8 weeks and everyone thinks I've done wonderfully well and I have but today it doesn't feel like it


Comments (6)

latest | oldest

Displaying 6 comments

  • From Anonymous
    26 September 2012 at 11:51


    Well, since my last comment Ive now heard that theres no cancer in my lymph nodes so thats the best news in months.  So very 'up' today.  Now just the treatment decisions to be made, ie mastectomy, reconstruction (which type?), reduction, when...... at a time when I just dont feel capable of making such big decisions.  thank you all for your comforting comments.  I cant believe the benefits of this 'chatroom' as Ive never taken part before, but knowing that I will be in again soon!  

  • From Anonymous
    03 September 2012 at 23:50

    Hi Caro & Carrie

    Crying - completely normal... I think we all automatically put a 'brave face on' when in the wider world, or at hospital appointments. It's all that repression of emotion that causes the tears to build up and they have to come out. My wonderful husband was commended by everyone as being 'so brave' (and he was). He cried and i cried everyday. We both found the 'you've got to stay positive' rhertoric quite hard to take. Positive attitude doesn't mean miracle cure and sadness doesn't equal unsuccessful treatment.

    What will help is being able to be honest about how you feel and having people who acknowledge those feelings.

    I hope you both have a shoulder to cry on and hope you find some brighter days in the week ahead.

    Tamsin xxxx


  • From Anonymous
    30 August 2012 at 20:58

    I started to get really bad headaches about February time this year. They were really bad and constant. I got them everyday without fail. If I was busy I didn't really notice them but as soon as I was sat down that's when I would notice them. I would get dizzy spells and feel sick. I've never actually fainted or been sick with my headaches. I went to see the doctors and they did blood tests which came back fine apart from I had to many white blood cells but they didn't seem to bothered by this. I've had my eyes checked and that came back all clear. Recently my doctor but me on Pizotifen tablets for my headaches and the time I was taken them seemed to help. Whereas paracetamol and ibruphren do not help. But now I'm not I'm getting really bad headaches daily. I'm convinced something is more serious than just a migraine because it's been going on so long and it's really worrying me and making me feel very anxious. Surely if it wasn't serious it would of gone by now yes?... My symptoms are really bad headaches which tend to be round the front, around my eyes and temple... Sometimes I get pains at the sides of the back of my head that feel like trapped nerves. It hurts my ears especially my left ear which hurts to touch the inside of. My headaches make me feel really nauseous and dizzy. Sometimes my left hand goes numb. A few times I've got my words muddled up and said them the wrong way but apart from that I've had no problem with my speech. My doctor took me off my pill 3 months ago thinking that would be the cause. Since then I've had 2 periods which have been irregular. Don't no whether this has any reference or not. This is starting to really scare me and any help or advice to what people may think it is would be very much appreciated.

  • From Anonymous
    29 August 2012 at 22:26

    Hi Carrie

    Our names sound a bit like a double act don't they!  Like you I'm fairly recently retired and although I've been helping more in my husband's business I have been planning to spend more time doing the things I enjoy and seeing my grandchildren.

    I do hope you're feeling a little better able to cope.  Unlike you I haven't been through the awfulness of having thought I've got through it to find that I'm back to square one again or perhaps worse.  I'm there for the very first time and still finding my way through a maze of emotions.  I did go to my nearest Maggie's centre on Tuesday which unfortunately is over an hour away but it was good to talk to someone who just let me cry and then talk without comment until I'd finished when she suggested things that the centre could offer which might be useful to me.  If you can get to a centre I wonder if it might help you especially as you sound like me and don't like burdening other people with your feelings.  It's so difficult for other people to understand what is going on in your head.

    Please message me if it helps to have someone else to let out your emotions to who has some idea of what you're going through.


  • Picture of Gaye
    From Gaye  
    28 August 2012 at 14:47

    Hello Caro & Carrie. It sounds as though you are both feeling overwhelmed right now. Of course that's distressing but it's an absolutely normal reaction given the circumstances. Hopefully finding the online centre will be a positive step in being able to work through your feelings and gain the support that you need. You can already see that others will offer their own thoughts, and there are other more structured forms of support also available online if that would be helpful (for more information follow the Groups link higher up the page). Please keep in touch and take care, Gaye.

  • From Anonymous
    28 August 2012 at 12:27

    Hi Caro

    Me too - first time online and very down.  Yesterday I was diagnosed with a recurrence of breast cancer and told that I need a mastectomy.  Having just retired and feeling that I had the freedom to do all the things I never had time to do, I now feel the rugs been pulled from under me and what have I done to deserve this!   Im stricken and dont know what to do or where to start.   Only my husband and daughter know.   I just cant stop crying so have to go now.

Displaying 6 comments

Registered Office: Maggie's, The Stables, Western General Hospital, Crewe Road, Edinburgh EH4 2XU   Registered Charity Number: SC024414
The Maggie Keswick Jencks Cancer Caring Centres Trust is a company limited by guarantee   Company Number: SC162451