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The colour pink

by Sue90

This year, this month, today...
15 March 2017 at 01:07

Liver Mets

Well 2 and a bit years after treatment finished, and I've had to restart treatment again. 

In Jan 2014 I was diagnosed with breast cancer with mets in my lymph nodes and bones.  Unfortunately I now have mets in my liver and I have come crashing down from a life I was loving, to be being bed-ridden in a matter of weeks.

I am shocked at how quickly I was affected physically. I thought I had pulled a muscle in my side from dancing, but no - it was the symptoms from liver mets. Luckily before this pain started my Onc had ordered a routine PET scan for me so it was picked up at the very earliest stages. The team weren't even sure it was liver mets but combined with my symptoms, this is the conclusion they came to - thank goodness.

I was fatigued, drained, painful side, sore tummy after eating, sore right shoulder sometimes, nauseus, no appetite, hiccups and had a very low mood. My Onc started me on chemo tablets (Capecitabine) 7 days ago and I'm going to see him tomorrow for a check up. I'm also on other meds like steroids, anti sick, stomach protectors and oramorph.

I'm staying with a very, very dear friend of mine (Dave), 10 mins from my house, and I couldn't ask for better care. He has a super house and we share lovely meals together. He allows me to do what I can to help out without tiring myself out. He accompanies me to all my appointements. I am so very grateful to him - he is my guardian angel.

My life for the last 2 years seems like a distant memory. I had given up my career in IT (which i disliked). Taken in lodgers to provide me with an income. Working towards qualifying as a counsellor (Level 4 diploma). Thoroughly engrossed myself in modern jive dancing (4 nights a week). Spent quality time with my friends and felt happy and grateful for this opportunity.

The rug has completely been dragged from beneath my feet and this time is so much worse because of the pain involved. It brings my mood down so much. Prior to any medical help, lying in bed I honestly thought I was dying, or at least I knew what it would feel like to die - just like that but worse.

Some of the people I met on my counselling course were truly inspirational and the connections we made unlike anything I have experienced previously. One dear friend suggested a book to read called "Dying to be Me". It is about Near Death Experience (NDE) and miraculous recovery from terminal cancer and I do feel a little sceptical about it. However ANYTHING I can do to gain any positivity for myself I will do, and so far it is a good read.



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