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My Journey

by Anonymous

23 June 2018 at 22:17

Freaked out ...

I saw my oncologist on Friday, for what I thought would be a routine appointment. However, whilst waiting for my (delayed) appointment, I was witness to a young girl, of about 17, leaving in a very distressed state, with her "mother". Clearly, she had received some very bad news, and I felt devasted for her. This sh!t shouldn't be happening to one so young!

However, some time later they both returned, with the girl in a more composed state and went straight through to the consulting rooms. About 10 mins later they left again, but this time with another lady, that was also in a very distressed state, and which they were both comforting.

I was obviously wrong in my intial impression, as it now appeared that the third lady was the young girls mother. I still felt devasted for the young girl and great sympathy for, what I now assumed, was her mother.

My own appointment with my oncologist went well. He was happy that I should now stop taking HT, although we decided on another 3 months. Reiterating that I was in the high risk group, and that my PSA would rise once I'd stopped the HT, brought home once again the likelyhood of my own demise.

I'm now somewhat freaked out by the possible impact that this may have on my own family, having been witness to the previous events. However, my overwhelming feeling is of impotence, literally due to the HT, but more so for this poor girl and her family. I so wanted to help, but what could I do?

Cancer is a f*(king awful disease, which shows no mercy, and this episode has brought home my own mortality into clear focus, together with the likely impact upon my family.

However, I still can't stop thinking about that poor girl and her mother!

Tagged with: cancer


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