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My determination and fight.

by Anonymous

14 November 2015 at 22:19

My journey so far....

I've thought long and hard about starting my own blog detailing my journey. I think it's more about me talking about my feelings and wanting to find others who are feeling/going through the same as I am for support. As with everyone who gets cancer, you never think it's going to be you. For me I feel lucky to have discovered my cancer as many have told me since that ovarian cancer is known as "the silent killer" as it is rarely discovered until it is too late. For me this all started back in April when one evening I had the most tremendous tummy ache which would not ease up over 3 days. I went to the GP and was told it was probably a tummy bug. I accepted this and was fine after that. However the following month I had a similar episode and realised it was at exactly the same time in my cycle so decided to go back to the GP who said it was probably nothing and they would send me for an ultra sound scan. My scan was on 3rd July and I was told that it was a cyst and my GP would contact me to discuss it. Five days later I had a call from my GP asking me to pop in that day (always a worry when they want to see you immediately). She told me the cyst was 6cm in diameter and was a complex cyst. At this stage the "cancer" word was mentioned. I was told that I was going onto a 2 week wait to be seen by a consultant. I was seen by a consultant who said it could be one of many things such as polyps, endometriosis or indeed cancer. He sent me for an MRI scan and when we went back for the results we were told there was no evidence of cancer. We were delighted and that evening we celebrated. We were then moved onto the 18 week wait to have the cyst removed. We were fortunate that there was a cancellation and I went into have the cyst on my left ovary removed as well as a hysteroscopy. Surgery took a lot longer than they thought, taking four hours as the cyst was stuck to many internal parts and in the ended it ruptured so was taken out in pieces. The morning after the surgery we were told by the consultant that everything had gone well and as far as they could see there was no cancer. Two weeks later we went back to see the consultant for what we thought was a follow up appointment after the surgery. The grave faces we saw on entering the room soon told us this was not going to be good news but nothing had prepared me for what came next. We were told that I didn't have just one affected area of cancer but two. I had cancer of the uterus and ovarian cancer. The only upside, if there can be an upside to cancer, was that the cancer of the uterus was at stage 1a and the ovarian cancer was 1c. This was assuming that they were two separate cancers. Things would be different if it was found the cancer had spread. It was as if the air had been knocked out of me, I felt I would wake up from a terrible dream.....but no this was real and it was happening to us. We were told I would need a full hysterectomy. This hit us hard as we were to be starting IVF treatment to begin our family. We had to then break the devastating news to our family and friends and begin to accept the news ourselves. This has been the most difficult for me as I don't want people to feel sad for me. I took on the attitude of "I will fight this" as being sad is not going to make it go away. I have to be strong for myself and for those around me. Throughout this my family have been amazing, supportive and always there for me. In particular my husband, Dave, who had watched his mum die two years earlier from bowel cancer, has been my rock. It must be hard for him seeing me suffer but he has stayed strong and been thee for me always and I will never be able to thank him enough. My hysterectomy was performed on Tuesday 22nd September. It was a cut from just below my rib cage down to my pubic line. They performed the full hysterectomy and removed lymph nodes to establish whether it had spread any further. I was in hospital for three nights and was discharged on the Friday (I thought this was quite a quick discharge but they felt I was well enough to go home). On the Saturday evening I became unwell and my husband ended up calling 111 and six hours later a doctor came out to see me and told us the pain I was feeling was simply constipation and left us with suppositories. Shortly after I became even more unwell and was being violently sick every twenty minutes. By 4am we were calling an ambulance out and I was taken back to hospital. It was still thought I was only suffering from constipation and was given medication to ease this and within three days I was home once again. This was short lived as 24 hours later we were back in A&E with terrible tummy pain and the most painful backache I have ever felt. Once again I was admitted. The following 24 hours were the worst I have ever been through, no one could control my pain, no one knew why I was in so much pain. I cried, I shouted and if I am honest wanted it all to end. A CT scan showed the problem that had probably been the issue all along and this was two haematomas, one in my tummy and one in my back. At this point pain could be controlled. A doctor removed 2 staples from my tummy to see if there would be any leaking. All was well, however this did not last long as on Saturday when using the toilet, a small strain resulted in the would on my tummy bursting open and blood shooting across the bathroom. To me I thought the wound had opened and my insides were coming out, fortunately this was not the case it was only the haematoma bursting. So after another five days in hospital I was allowed home and this time I stayed at home and began the long road to recovery. It is now 8 weeks since the surgery and my chemo started two weeks ago. We have since been told that the cancer has not spread and the reason for chemo is "to mop up" any remaining cells there may be. This is the best news we could have wished for and for me I know I just have to get through the next 5 sessions of chemo and then I can hopefully get back to some sort of normality.

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