I'am New Here.Found this by chance

I FEEL VERY ALONE HERE. WE MOVED TO PENSACOLA FL. & THE DOCTORS REALLY SEEM NOT TO CARE. I HAVE FELT AT TIMES JUST GIVING UP.I HAD A RARE HEART ATTACK 1995 I WAS 33 I RETAINED WATER BADLY WHILE PREGNANT WITH MY LAST SON.THEN BECAUSE MY EX DID NOT BELIEVE IN DOCS I HAD A RARE HEART ATTACK 4 WAY BTPASS.PLUS THEY JUST PUT IN ANOTHER PACE.DEF IN ME.AND MY OWN FAMILY MOTHER & SISTERS JUST MAKE FUN OF ME.I WAS TOLD I HAVE A YR TO LIVE OCT 09 AND TOP ALL OFF I HAVE A RARE BONE CANCER IN BOTH LEGS AND IT STARTED MILD IN 94 BUT EACH YR IT GOT WORSE.AND I ENDED UP IN A WHEEL CHAIR BECAUSE I DID NOT BELIEVE IN PAIN MEDS.BUT AFTER 2 YRS MY BROTHER COULD NOT STAND TO SEE ME SUFFER. SO WE WENT THROUGH THE MANY PAIN KILLERS. AS LONG AS MY PAIN STAYS AT A 5 I CAN LIVE & ENJOY LIFE.BUT SINCE I HAVE MOVED HERE THANKS TO MOTHER THESE DOCS REALLY DO NOT CARE. I USED TO BE VERY ACTIVE.NOW I STAY HOME.I HAVE NO REAL FRIENDS HERE,JUST MY SON & FRAN HIS GF THEY ARE GOD'S SPECIAL GIFT.THE NAME OF BONE CANCER I CANNOT RECALL. IT IS LIKE SOME ONE IS BRAKING EVERY BONE ALLTHE WAY TO MY TOES & TAKING A CHIZZILY ALL THE WAY DOWN. THEY PUT ME ON TYONL W COD #4 2 EVERY 3 TO 4 HRS AS NEEDED.THEY TOLD ME NEVER LET IT GET OUT OF HAND I HAD A MILD HEART ATTACK AND WAS ZAPPED. BUT THIS DOC I HAVE IS REALLY TICKINGME OFF. WHEN MY OWN MOTHER CALLED ME A DRUGGIE I WENT OFF THE MEDS IWENT THROUGH HECK. WANTED TO DIE,NO WITH DRAW SIGNS.PISSED HER OFF.I WAS TOLD I COULD ORDER PAIN MEDS ONLINE WITHOUT DARN DOCS.NOW I KNOW WHY MY EX DID NOT LIKE THEM.I KNOW WITH OUT A DOUBT I WILL NOT GET A HEARTTRANS PLANT BUT I'LL BE DARNED IF I WILL LIVE IN PAIN FOR WHATEVER TIME I'M BLESSED TO HAVE". A PART OF ME WANTS TO REALLY GIVE UP.BUT          ANOTHER PART WANTS TO KEEP FIGHTING.HAS ANY ONE OR KNOW THE NAME OF THIS TYPE OF LEG BONE CANCER I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO GO THROUGH THOSE PAINFUL TEST AGAIN.I HAD MY BROTHER WITH ME THEN.I ALMOST DIED BECAUSE IT WAS VERY PAINFUL. PLEASE CAN ANYONE     HELP ME? I'M CLOSE TO TRUELY GIVING UP.MYSON IS AUTISN,AND HID LOVELY GF IS JUST AS SPECIAL.BUT I EVEN ASK THEM TO CUT MY LEGS OFF I'M NOT JOKING.I FEEL ALONE & VERY VERY LONELY HERE.NO ONE IN MY FAMILY CARES.BEFORE MY CUZ HUBBY WAS TOLD HE HAD BRAIN CANCER THERE IS NO HOPE HE MAY HAVE A WEEK A MONTH WE DO NOT KNOW THEN MY CUZ MARIE FOUND OUT SHE HAS BREAST CANCER.I FEEL SINCE WE MOVED HERE WE MAY OF JENKS EVERYONE.SORRY JUST IN SOOOOOOOO MUCH PAIN.pLEASE DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT I HAVE WHAT SUCKS MY RECORDS WERE LOST BECAUSE MY EX MOVED US ALL OVER.FOUND OUT WHY LATER.I FORGIVE HIM.AND FEEL SORRY FOR THE MAN. ANY WAY FEEL SO ALONE AND SO CLOSE TO JUST GIVING UP.CAN YOU OR ANYONE HELP ME PLEASE. I LOVE LIFE & MY 2 VERY SPECIAL GIFTED ADULTS PLUS I'M A GRANDMA AND HAVE 4 BOYS 2 DAUGTHERS. I MISS THEM. BUT I CANNOT LET THEM SEE ME SUFFER THIS BAD.THANKYOU FOR ANY HELP...HOTFLASHX2